Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution Skills

Conflict Resolution
Working well under pressure: Mutual Respect!

Our world reflects and promotes conflict in the name of drama and ratings. Our society does not promote or provide the skills for managing conflict. There is a great deal of disrespect, hatred, and negative language used within the daily lives of our students. It is imperative that we challenge our students to work well under pressure, be non-judgmental, and have the respect toward a peer even when opinions differ. Our students, our leaders, need to handle conflict, not be the source of the negative issues in our schools and society.

From the author John C. Maxwell, Developing the Leader Within You, his perspective on conflict resolution and integrity: "We are all faced with conflicting desires. No one, no matter how 'spiritual', can avoid this battle. Integrity is the factor that determines which one will prevail. We struggle daily with situations that demand decisions between what we want to do and what we ought to do. Integrity establishes the ground rules for resolving these tensions. It determines who we are and how we will respond before the conflict even appears. Integrity welds what we say, think, and do into a whole person so that permission is never granted for one of those to be out of sync."

Unit 3 - Conflict Resolution Curriculum
Read the article "Conflict Resolution Skills." As you read the article, answer the questions (quiz) based on the content of the article.

2. On a separate piece of binder paper, complete the following tasks.

a. Discuss a situation where you were faced with conflict. Describe the situation, your emotions toward that situation, and if there was any resolution to the event that occurred in your life. What did you learn, if anything, from the conflict that was a part of your life?
b. Explain why conflict resolution may be an important aspect to life.

3. Watch the Ted Talk Conflict Negotiation by Mukul Chaudhri. Complete the Q&A activity regarding the content of this video.

Directions: Answer the following questions based on your opinion and the evidence in the TED Talks video by Mukul Chandhri: Conflict Negotiation. If you would like to view the video from home again to get a fresher or listen more closely, here is the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xCkhV7zhuw

Please answer:

1.      What is the moral of the story regarding the camels?
2.      Describe the concept of family and conflict.
3.      What is the secret to peace within society? Explain.
4.      What is the 3rd side and why is it important?
5.      Stop fighting for a moment and start _____________________________.
6.      When you are angry you will _____________________________________________?
7.      What does it mean to go to the balcony?
8.      What is the role/purpose of a story?
9.      What was the basic concept that came from the Middle East centuries ago?
10. What does walking do within a relationship versus walking up to a person face to face?
11. What is the change that needs to be made for conflict to dissipate?
12. The speaker discussed conflict on a global and historical scale. How can this idea, the 3rd side, apply to your personal life? How can it apply to leadership and all that we accomplish in our school year?

4. The Ten Commandments of Confrontation by John C. Maxwell
   1. Do it privately, not publicly.
2. Do it as soon as possible. That is more natural than waiting a long time.
   3. Speak to one issue at a time. Don't overload the person with a long list of issues.
   4. Once you've made a point, don't keep repeating it.
5. Deal only with actions the person can change. If you ask the person to do something he or she is unable to do, frustration builds in your relationship.
   6. Avoid sarcasm. Sarcasm signals that you are angry at people, not at their actions, and may cause them to resent you.
   7. Avoid words like always and never. They usually detract from accuracy and make people defensive.
   8. Present criticisms as suggestions or questions if possible.
   9. Don't apologize for the confrontational meeting. Doing so detracts from it and may indicate you are not sure you had the right to say what you did.
   10. Don't forget the compliments. Use what I call the 'sandwich' in these types of meetings: compliment - confront - compliment.

5. Read the article on Forgiveness written by the Mayo Clinic.
On a separate page, write a reflection (lengthy) describing how conflict management and forgiveness are related to you as a person and within the professional world.

Forgiveness
When someone you care about hurts you, you can hold on to anger, resentment and thoughts of revenge — or embrace forgiveness and move forward. By Mayo Clinic Staff

Nearly everyone has been hurt by the actions or words of another. Perhaps your mother criticized your parenting skills, your colleague sabotaged a project or your partner had an affair. These wounds can leave you with lasting feelings of anger, bitterness or even vengeance.

But if you don't practice forgiveness, you might be the one who pays most dearly. By embracing forgiveness, you can also embrace peace, hope, gratitude and joy. Consider how forgiveness can lead you down the path of physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.

Generally, forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you might always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, more positive parts of your life. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you.

Forgiveness doesn't mean that you deny the other person's responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn't minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life.
Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for happiness, health and peace. Forgiveness can lead to:

Healthier relationships
Greater spiritual and psychological well-being
Less anxiety, stress and hostility
Lower blood pressure
Fewer symptoms of depression
Stronger immune system
Improved heart health
Higher self-esteem

When you're hurt by someone you love and trust, you might become angry, sad or confused. If you dwell on hurtful events or situations, grudges filled with resentment, vengeance and hostility can take root. If you allow negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice.
If you're unforgiving, you might:

Bring anger and bitterness into every relationship and new experience
Become so wrapped up in the wrong that you can't enjoy the present
Become depressed or anxious
Feel that your life lacks meaning or purpose, or that you're at odds with your spiritual beliefs
Lose valuable and enriching connectedness with others

Forgiveness is a commitment to a process of change. To begin, you might:

Consider the value of forgiveness and its importance in your life at a given time
Reflect on the facts of the situation, how you've reacted, and how this combination has affected your life, health and well-being
Actively choose to forgive the person who's offended you, when you're ready
Move away from your role as victim and release the control and power the offending person and situation have had in your life

As you let go of grudges, you'll no longer define your life by how you've been hurt. You might even find compassion and understanding.

Forgiveness can be challenging, especially if the person who's hurt you doesn't admit wrong or doesn't speak of his or her sorrow. If you find yourself stuck:

Consider the situation from the other person's point of view.
Ask yourself why he or she would behave in such a way. Perhaps you would have reacted similarly if you faced the same situation.
Reflect on times you've hurt others and on those who've forgiven you.
Write in a journal, pray or use guided meditation — or talk with a person you've found to be wise and compassionate, such as a spiritual leader, a mental health provider, or an impartial loved one or friend.
Be aware that forgiveness is a process and even small hurts may need to be revisited and forgiven over and over again.

If the hurtful event involved someone whose relationship you otherwise value, forgiveness can lead to reconciliation. This isn't always the case, however.

Reconciliation might be impossible if the offender has died or is unwilling to communicate with you. In other cases, reconciliation might not be appropriate. Still, forgiveness is possible — even if reconciliation isn't.

If you haven't reached a state of forgiveness, being near the person who hurt you might prompt you to be tense and stressful. To handle these situations:

Remember that you can choose to attend or avoid specific functions and gatherings. If you choose to attend, don't be surprised by a certain amount of awkwardness and perhaps even more intense feelings.
Respect yourself and do what seems best.
Do your best to keep an open heart and mind. You might find that the experience helps you to move forward with forgiveness.

Getting another person to change his or her actions, behavior or words isn't the point of forgiveness. Think of forgiveness more about how it can change your life — by bringing you peace, happiness, and emotional and spiritual healing. Forgiveness can take away the power the other person continues to wield in your life.

The first step is to honestly assess and acknowledge the wrongs you've done and how those wrongs have affected others. At the same time, avoid judging yourself too harshly. You're human, and you'll make mistakes.

If you're truly sorry for something you've said or done, consider admitting it to those you've harmed. Speak of your sincere sorrow or regret, and specifically ask for forgiveness — without making excuses.

Remember, however, you can't force someone to forgive you. Others need to move to forgiveness in their own time. Whatever the outcome, commit to treating others with compassion, empathy and respect.
Original article: http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/forgiveness/art-20047692

6. Trust - "People choose to change how they spend their time and energy ONLY when someone they fully TRUST asks them to." School Culture by Design; Phil Boyte

Components to Trust
   a. Benevolence - Having confidence that another party
   has your best interest at heart and will protect your
   beliefs, thoughts, vision.
   b. Reliability - Depend on someone else.
   c. Competence - Ability to perform.
   d. Honesty - truthful
   e. Openness - Ability to listen and not judge.

Answer the following questions (perhaps a class discussion):
   a. Do you believe you possess these qualities of trust?
   Explain.
   b. Do you believe our class contains the qualities of trust?
   Explain.
   c. What is your perspective/opinion/definition of trust?
   d. Does our school have positive or negative trust within
our school culture? Explain.

7. Watch the next video presented by Oprah and just reflect within yourself on the concepts presented regarding conflict resolution and forgiveness. Will you have an AHA moment in your life as you grow as a person and professional?

8. Problem Solving
We must first learn what conflict means to an individual or a group; then understand how conflict can escalate causing failure or growth. From there steps can be taken to observe our surroundings, interpret them and then take the high road. Conflict resolution skills can be attained, forgiveness given, and trust built in a professional way. As the 'Ah Ha' moment develops in growth the next stage is to create problem solving skills so that an environment cannot be tainted by conflict and drama.